Dog Day Afternoon

I lie here… Waiting for a pat… Waiting… But none seems forthcoming…
You come to me only when you all alone… When there is no one else… When your friends have left you and you have left your family…
You are sitting at your desk… Pretending to do your pretentious work… So that you may seem important… So that you may get a pat…
I have never understood this leash around my neck… Or the chain that extends from my body… It feels part of my body now… I don’t feel its pain anymore… Atleast I try not too…
I wonder why you ever bought me here... I am in no way helpful to you and neither are you to me... Irony is all your guests love me...
The door bell rings… You rise to the door… Cursing the person who has disturbed you…
It is a woman… She comes in and you let her… You have forgotten your laptop for now… She leads you to your room…
And now I am all alone…
After what seems like eternity you emerge… Along with her… You look into her eyes and you tell her… You are the best… She lets herself out…
And I thought I was your best friend…

The leather dream

One of my countless dreams is to own a Harley Davidson motorcycle. It is a bike that personifies elegance and style. An add-on to buying a Harley would be that I would finally be able to pick up a leather jacket for myself.
I confess, I have always had a fascination for the leather variety of jackets. But it is the type of jacket that can only be worn if it suits the environment. Like if you are a biker for instance. On the flip side, wearing the leather jacket at an inappropriate time will lead you to look like a cheap Roadside Romeo.
There is this scene in ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’ where Brad Pitt rides a Bullet with a leather jacket. Despite being a guy I felt weak in the knees (I am straight, mind you). Another character who epitomizes the leather jacket to perfection is Wolverine of the X- men series.
The leather jacket is unique in such a way that it can either be a defining style statement or a fashion faux pas. There is no in-between ground for this accessory. Until I am convinced that a leather jacket will completely define me (Read: own a Harley Davidson) I am not going to commit the gaffe of owning one.

A sweet desire

There is always the temptation… Butterflies are formed in my stomach and Goosebumps on my skin… I would never resist the urge… The sweet taste of delight…
You are there, right before my eyes… You are looking at me… Expressionless… Emotionless… Tasty…
But I more than make up for your pokerfaced appearance… A fire burns inside me… I have been trying not to look at you…
But I yield to your lure… Soft… Dark… Rich…
I can feel you inside me… It feels like heaven… It feels like it belongs there…
Your exotic beauty has ensnared me…
I can’t wait any longer… I have waited long enough… I surrender to temptation…
...It feels right, does it not?

For the want of a shoe

Shoes are the hot topic for conversation these days. It started with an Iraqi journalist throwing a shoe at the former President of America, George Bush. The Indian political scene has had its share of shoe throwing antics as well. Reebok garnered tremendous publicity after the actions of Turban wearing journalist, Jarnail Singh. These ‘top stories’ provide an unending source of entertainment to viewers all over the world. I am glad that these ‘publicity seekers’ never threw a shoe made by CAT. Trust me when I tell you, CAT shoes are built to suit all environments.
A woman has to have a minimum of 15 pairs of shoes in her closet. 15 pairs! But then again footwear for the average woman comes at an approximate price of Rs150. They do not visit the Nike’s and Puma’s of the world as frequently as guys do.
I also wonder whether M.F. Hussein has a grudge against the shoe manufacturing industry. The controversial painter never wears any form of footwear to travel.
Guys tend to want big feet. As legend holds the size of a man’s foot is directly proportionate to the size of his… ahem! P.S.: The wrestler ‘Khali’ wears a size 22 boot. That is more than double my shoe size!
It can’t be double. I have to go home and check…
Shoes are very close to my heart. I still can’t get around to throwing away my very first pair. Look at the multipurpose nature of shoes. It can be used as memorabilia, a style statement, a weapon, a storage device and most importantly… as footwear.

For your eyes only

I am sure every guy harbors the dream of walking down a crowded street wearing aviators. You can be assured of a few stares and a whole lot of glances. Ask a man and you can be sure that a pair of aviators is on his wish list.
The trend today is to wear sunglasses that are 3 or 4 times the size of your eyes. Are we getting so ugly today that we have to cover our entire face? Jokes apart you have to move with the times. I admit I too have a pair of those oversized, overpriced glasses.
I wonder if a lot of people have seen the picture of General Macarthur wearing aviators during WW2. It you haven’t I suggest you do so. That photo was a pioneering moment in the use of sunglasses.
The fact that sunglasses have become an essential part of every person’s repertoire cannot be argued. The summer season is upon us. Time to pick up a pair…

To wear or not to wear...

I ask for forgiveness if I get into a preachy tone in this post. I must admit, I am a staunch supporter of helmets. Wearing one while riding a 2 wheeler is a must for me.
I remember the time when the 'compulsory helmet' rule was imposed in Bangalore. Endless debates followed between me and my friends over that ruling.
The one question I ask any opponent of helmets is whether they are Lord Ganesha. I am sure that if we lose our head while riding, we are not going to be ‘fortunate’ enough to gain a new one. Although a donkey's head would be the perfect fit for helmetless riders.
I have seen lots of people carry helmets on their elbows while riding. Why carry one in the first place??? Ask any professional biker and they will tell you that the helmet is essential to the bike as it is to the rider. Safety is something that happens between your ears, not something you hold in your hands…

Tic Toc Tic Toc

As a kid, ‘My Grandfathers Clock’ was my favourite nursery rhyme. Now however I have lost my charm for it. Partly because a friend of mine removed one of the alphabets from the word ‘clock’. The rhyme takes on an all new meaning altogether.
Until recently watches have never been a fantasy of mine. However the older we grow, the more brand conscious we become. I have come to learn that the watch is a status symbol and the more expensive it is, the higher your position on the social ladder.
Imagine a world where watches didn’t exist. We would have no notion of time. If you think about it, it might not be such a bad thing. Our bodies wouldn’t be restricted to this caged world where we eat, sleep, talk, walk at designated times.
Watches have been used and abused over the years. In ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’ an engineer developed a clock that ran backwards. It was done in the hope of bringing back the men who were lost at war. No doubt it was a novel and ingenious idea. But these things are best left to the movies. I wouldn't be able to live in a world where watches didn’t exist. I need my time and I need the notion of it. Its 6:50 now. Time to leave office…

One coffee please!

I had read in some magazine that ‘a morning without coffee is like sleep’. I am South Indian (a proud one) and I love my filter coffee beyond anything else. Coffee is the most consumed beverage across the world. My guess is that people like the high that caffeine provides. The high notwithstanding, I can’t remember a seed that sold for $600 a pound. Yes, you heard me right. The world’s most expensive coffee bean is worth that much. And believe it or not, it is sh**! Literally. These coffee beans are derived for the droppings of an animal called the luwak (civet). I am not making this sh** up (pun intended). I applaud the man who had the brainwave to look through an animal's dung. I wonder if he was looking for gold.
But in all seriousness coffee has surpassed alcohol as the world's best conversation starter. The explosion of café outlets across the globe is unquestionable. These coffee chains have millions of people coming in and going out every single day. I am undoubtedly part of this ‘chain gang’. And I am sure you are too. If you aren’t I urge you, be a coffee drinking individual- Espresso yourself!

Wow!

Victoria’s Secret is a man’s best friend! Actually it is a desperate man's best friend. Boy! I just got off the website and I am still mesmerized. I do apologize if this blog is not up to the mark. But to be fair you should blame Tyra Banks for that.
Seeing all those models in bikinis made me think. It is truly amazing as to what one can do with such little material. But enough said about models and bikinis. I am writing this blog to give kudos to Hugh Hefner and Roy Raymond. These guys were truly ingenious. Did you know that Roy Raymond started Victoria's Secret because he was too embarrassed to buy lingerie for his wife at a public store. There are umpteen criticisms towards them but I am sure that none of those so called critics could dream of having a brainwave so as to create institutions like Playboy and Victoria’s Secret. Yes I said ‘institutions'. From each and every man (and some women) across the globe, I salute you guys. I have said what I had to say in this blog. Now back to playboy.com…

The Keyboard is mightier than The Sword

Since the advent of computers and the World Wide Web, the use of pens have diminished to a large extent. Those who swear by a pen say that the world has become lazy. They claim that the art of writing has been lost.
I have known how to write for a considerable number of years but this ‘art of writing’ has never dawned on me. At face value the art of writing can only signify ones ability (or inability) to write with the hand. Good writing isn’t determined by the ink or keyboard used. George Orwell, in one of his essays said that phrases and metaphors hold no meaning and should be banned. I would be a hypocrite if I agreed with him but I have to say that the above mentioned one must be banned. Or it should be changed into the ‘art of conveying’. Whether one writes, types or speaks a bad story remains a bad story; a bad poem will remain a bad poem. Just as man has evolved, the pen too must evolve. The pen is no longer mightier than the sword. A keyboard is.

Ravishing Reva

It is said by someone that 'great things come in small packages'. As a true cynic and more importantly as a man I have to disagree with this unfounded statement. For me it has always been the mantra of 'larger than life'. This too is a contradiction in itself as I ask the question, 'Can life be actually measured by its size'? But the second phrase sounds cooler and I am going to stick by it.
Now if i go and ask the above mentioned person to prove his point, he would just point me to a Reva. For all uninformed souls the Reva is the first electric car launched in India. It is about as big as an auto but using another cliched phrase, I felt 'love at first sight'.
It was only today that I got down to actually reading about the Reva. As the case with everything else it has its pros and cons. But it is truly fascinating that four grown adults can fit into a car so small. What is even more amazing is that a car this small exists today in the world of big cars, big bucks, big people and big dreams... Despite its unassuming nature the Reva catches the eye and a stare or two as well. This electric car was launched in India with an electric dream. Whether this dream of our country becoming 'resource efficient' materialises remains to be seen. But a start has been made. This small package has set the course for great things to come.